


Oh Look A Chat Room (Pokespe)

by orphan_account



Category: I'm Not Tagging Every Arc/Fandom, Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: Author Is Sleep-Deprived, Crack, I need help, I'm Sorry, Insert The Hi Okay Vine, It's Very Very Scary, Like It's Not Even Funny How Cracky It Is, No Lack-Two, No Whi-Two, Pay attention to the tags, Seriously Call A Doctor, Severe crack, Sun Has Supreme Power, Tags Will Probably Change, chat room, chatfic, just run, no, they all need help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-23 23:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20016760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Sun decides it's a good idea to make a chat for all the pokedex holders. Stuff happens and hilarity ensues. Serious crack here, so y'all better be prepared.We are not to be held responsible for loss of brain cells suffered from use of this product. Any brain damage is the readers fault alone. Thank you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Age-grid I 'borrowed' from damsevendemigods:  
> Green-23, June 1  
> Red-23, August 8  
> Blue Oak-23, November 22  
> Yellow-21, March 3  
> Crystal-20, April 30  
> Gold-20, July 21  
> Silver-20, December 24  
> Emerald-18, May 31  
> Ruby-18, July 2  
> Sapphire-18, September 20  
> White-16, October 5  
> Black-16, October 8  
> Y-14, February 2  
> X-14, November 6  
> Diamond-13, April 4  
> Pearl-13, June 6  
> Platinum-13, October 27  
> Moon-12, January 1  
> Sun-11, August 31
> 
> I still need to finshi B2W2 and SMUSUM so there's no Lack-Two or Whi-Two and besides I can't even write them. Probably some OOCness but hey, this is crack, so it's expected. Um, yeh, welcome to the insanity:

**> >DIS PLACE -- January 1, 12:00 am<<**

**SUN has added MOON, RED, BLUE, and 15 others**

**Sun:** ALOLAAAAAAA

happy new year my peeplz

k we dont all know each other so we gonna start with introductions il go first:

yo im sun. I was born and raised in kanto, but now i live in alola. Im a courier. Im 11 years old but i look 15 cuz wormholes. I wasted 5 years of my life on a total lie but its all good :) I did the island challenge and some other stuff. k moon ur next

**Red:** ????

**Gold:** ^

**Sapphire:** ^^ Who da **[CENSORED]** r u?

**Sun:** Sun the courier my good buddy

k moon GO and btw happy bday

**Moon:** um

Im Moon, a pharmicist from sinnoh. I accidentaly poisoned an adorabe penguin so i went to alola to find a cure. I got dragged into a bunch of crazy **[pro-fain-i-tea]** and i met this idiot courier. poison pokemon r the cutest things.

Also i look 15 too even though im 12

**Sapphire:** Hold up...

**[HOLY COW SEVERE PROFANITY CENSORED AAAH ALL CAPS TOO]**

wtcf

**Sun:** :)

**Gold:** WUT DA **[NO]** DID U DOOO

**Sun:** :)

Platinum go

**Platinum** : Im Platinum Berlitz im super rich and pretty. Im from sinnoh, and i saved the whole region from the evilness of the evil team galactic. I like acting stuck up its like my fav hobby. Moon how dare u poison a Piplup theyre like the most ADORBS pkmn EVER

:'(

**Moon:** TT.TT

**Sun:** hey no bullies

k pearl GO

**Pearl:** Im a awesome comedian an im super funny and tryhard about it too. Im super bossy sez my 'friends' and i helped save sinnoh from the lake bomb monster people.

i like

orange i guess

**Sun:** great diamond ur turn

**Diamond:** Im the other comedian but im way more laid back. I like food and i make it and eat it its a never ending cycle. me an pearl r both from sinnoh an weve known each other 4ever. i helped defeat the sinnoh baddies too. Cool hats are cool.

**Sun:** k

**SUN has changed PLATINUM's name to RICHBULLYGIRL**

**SUN has changed PEARL's name to COMMANDOCOMEDY**

**SUN has changed DIAMOND's name to GLUTTONY**

**Richbullygirl:** ...

**Commandocomedy:** ...

**Gluttony:** ...

**Sun:** :)

x

**X:** Im x. im 14. My parents went on a business trip or something and they still havent come back. I won the junior tournament in vaniville once, but then i discovered the **[bleach ur eyes]** paparazzi so i locked myself in my room for 5 years. then i was forced to come out by y because otherwise my house wouldve burned down. Grownups suck. I helped save the entire kalos region from mass destruction and one time i mega evolved 5 pkmn @ 1 time cuz thats how cool i am.

**Sun:** ...

dude that is wacked

**X:** Not as much as looking 5 years older than i am

**Sun:** ... point taken

**Red** : wait u have parents

**X:** ???

yes?? every1 does??

**Red:** huh. not me unless u can count a poliwag as a parent.

**Sun:** its not ur turn yet

y go

**Y:** im a 14 year old sky trainer. i spent 5 years trying to get my stubborn **[Dont]** of a friend out of his [watch da profanity] bedroom. i helped save kalos too but no one ever mentions it except the other peeps who helped

**Sun:** ...

black ur turn

o wait

**SUN has changed X's name to BEDROOMBOY  
**  
**SUN has changed Y's name to WINGSUIT**

**Black:** ...

um

im 16. i won the pkmn league when i was 14 and i discovered, oh look, im the truth hero or something so i teamed up with reshiram to destroy team plasma but then i got trapped in a rock for 2 years. B4 that, i studied and now i know the exact manual for the pkmn league by heart

dont judge

**Sun:** White?

**White:** I own a pokemon talent agency and blacks my empoyee fyi. im super successful. i spent two years rescuing black from the stupid fnsfbdidn rock

**SUN has changed BLACK's name to OBSESSED  
**  
**SUN has changed WHITE's name to HOLLYWOOD**

**Hollywood:** NONONONONONO

**Sun:** YESYESYESYESYESYES

SAPPHY GO

**Sapphire:** HOW THE **[IM BLIND]** DID U CENSOR THE SWEARS

WHY DID U CENSOR ALL THE SWEARS

**Sun:** I have supreme power. Also, my non-existant parents wouldn't want me looking at all ur pro-fain-i-tea. Im only little

**Moon:** k 1, u swear all the time sun. 2, u literaly traveled alone at the age of 6 so u clearly dont have very good parents, if they even exist. 3, ur not little, ur probably taller than x and hes three years older than u

then again, u were pretty short before the wormhole, so...

**Sun:** HEY NO **[Swear]** SHORT JOKES

ALSO TAKE THAT BSHEK

**SUN has changed MOON's name to SKEPTICALDEPRESSANT**

**Skepticaldepressant:** SUN NO

**Sun:** SUN YES

**Skepticaldepressant:** SUN WHY

**Sun:** SAPPH GO

**Sapphire:** **[GET THE SOAP AAAH PROFANITY POLIIIICE]**

Im 18, I beat all the hoenn gyms, i helped save the region, my dad is professor birch nuff said

**Sun:** ...

elaboration please?

**Sapphire:** heck no ya **[OH GEEZ NO]**

**Sun:** ...

Ruby go

**Ruby:** Im 18 I like pkmn contests and im super good at battles no lie. When i was like... 6? Me n sapphy got attacked by a salami or whatever it was called and i got my heade cut open. me and sapphy saved everybody from the two psychotic legendaries and the two meanie jerkfaces who summoned them. Btw sapphy likes to sleep in trees and climb trees and act like an animal

**SUN has changed SAPPHIRE's name to TOMBOY**

**SUN has changed RUBY's name to FASHIONPOLICE**

**Tomboy:** Ruby

**Fashionpolice:** hm?

**Tomboy:** I will KILL you.

**Fashionpolice:** SKDBCJEHDKM SHES USING PUNCTUTION NO

GUYS GUYS HELP HELP

NONONONONONSHDISKZKXNXHLSMMMMKSLMMM

**Sun:** ...

f

**Emerald:** f

**Bedroomboy:** f

**Hollywood:** f

**Crystal:** f

**Tomboy:** There is no Ruby anymore

only a hyena thing

thats all

**FASHIONPOLICE has left the chat  
**  
**TOMBOY has left the chat**

**Sun:** Yeah no

**SUN has added FASHIONPOLICE and TOMBOY**

**Sun:** There is no escape

Emerald go

**Emerald:** Im 18. Im like a foot tall but no one can tell cuz i have a super dank suit thing. I helped save hoenn from archie andrews. Plus the evil Kyogre-shadow-summoner-dude. I like croissants.

**Sun:** silver go

**Silver:** LEAVE ME THE FJDO ALONE I AM WATCHING PROTEAM OMEGA

**SILVER has left the chat**

**Sun:** STOPPIT STUPID

**SUN has added SILVER**

**Sun:** Silver go

**> 5 MINUTES LATER<**

**Sun:** fine

Gold go

**Gold:** Im 20 im awesome i grew up without a dad. im super popular an i sved everybody in johto from the evil masked man also i escaped the time crack when every1 thought i was dead :)

**Sun:** SVED LOL WHOS SVED

**Gold:** SXNFIR

**Sun:** crystal ur turn

**Crystal:** Im 20, from johto. I used to volunteer at a daycare, now im professor oks assiatant and a teacher. I helped save johto twice alongside gold and silver. Im also called the catcher sometimes cuz i can kick good

**Sun:** PROFESSOR OKS LOL LMAO

**Gold:** Srsly, u do NOT wanna b on the wrong side of those kicks i was once and i ended up in the hospital for like a month

**Sun:** O.o

**Crystal:** ur exaggerating gold

**Sun:** -o- *phew*

**Crystal:** it was only like a week

**Sun:** o_-'''''

**SUN has changed CRYSTAL's name to BADARSEKICKS  
**  
**SUN has changed GOLD's name to IDONTUSUALLYDIE...  
**  
**SUN has changed SILVER's name to KUMQUAT**

**Kumquat:** WHAT

**Idontusuallydie...:** LMAO

**Kumquat:** **[** **Salty profanityyy]**

**Sun:** :D

Yellow go

**Yellow:** Im 21, I grew up in viridian forest with no parents. Then i went to go save red, but i had to pretend to be boy (by wearing a straw hat lol) cuz sexism. Then i helped save johto somewhat. I got turned into stone at some point, too

**Obsessed:** REALLY?!

Prez there r other peepl like me! Im not the only one!

**Hollywood:** ...i can sew that

**Sun** : SHE CAN SEW THAT HAHAHAHA

**Hollywood:** DDJDNCJDEBFISNC I HATE U ALL

**Sun:** BLUE

**Blue:** Im 23, proffesor oaks grandson. I saved people from team rocket, way too many times. I almost beat the pkmn legue. I helped save johto and kalos a lil bit. Next

**Sun:** k red ur next

**Red:** FINALLY

So I was raised by a poliwag, but for some reason i still drowned like five times. I beat up team rocket a bunch of times. Im the chmpion of the kanto pkmn league. I helped save everybody dozens of times. I have no parents. My life is messed. The end.

**Sun:** AND FINALLY...

_*3-hour drum solo*_

GREEN GO

**Green:** I was kidnapped by a giant bird at age 5 and was scarred for life. I turned to the fine art of theivery and then i almost won the kanto pkmn league. I helped save people. I got turned into a stone statue along with yellow, red, blue, and silver. I got saved. Done

**SUN has changed YELLOW's name to HATMAN  
**  
**SUN has changed BLUE's name to TREEKID  
**  
**SUN has changed RED's name to TADPOLE  
**  
**SUN has changed GREEN's name to STATUEINJAIL  
**  
**TREEKID has changed SUN's name to ¥·¥**

**¥·¥:** Wait what

nonono

how the **[CENSORED]** did u do that

**Treekid:** Porygon2 strikes again

**Hatman:** I'm going to sleep

**Wingsuit:** Yeah yellows right its actually super late

**Bedroomboy:** dont mind me im just gonna sit here

**Wingsuit:** no go to bed

**Bedroomboy:** make me

**Wingsuit:** ...

**Bedroomboy:** :)

...

NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK HELP GUYS NOOOODBFISNXKSBJVNVGMMM

**Obsessed:** ...

f

**¥·¥:** f

**Tomboy:** f

**Idontusuallydie...:** f

**Statueinjail:** f

**Tadpole:** f

**Badarsekicks:** f


	2. Chapter 2

**> >DIS PLACE -- January 6, 3:00 pm<<**

**¥·¥ has changed the group chat name to ALL DA PEEPS**

**¥·¥:** ALOOLAA!!

So how bout them galar kids huh?

**Tadpole:** SJDXBEISN I HEARD THEY CAN MAKE THEIR PKMN HUUUGE AGH

**Badarsekicks:** Oh u mean dynamaxing yea they turn super huge and powerful

**Obsessed:** wtcf

[dynamaxinginfull.ppt]

theres a video in there it shows a dynamaxed gyarados wtcf

**Wingsuit:** omg this is like megaevolution mixed with z moves with a dash of psycho size an power mixed in wtcf

**I dont usually die...:** wtcf how does this even work

they have holographic giantarse pokeballs wut

**¥·¥:** bet u the new kids have stupid names

bet theyre called sword and sheild or something equally dumb

**Badarsekicks:** first, its shield, two, i know for a fact that one is called hop

**¥·¥:** ...

hokay...

**Kumquat:** leave me alone i just wanna watch anime

**KUMQUAT has left the chat**

**¥·¥:** no stop u idiot

**¥·¥ has added KUMQUAT**

**¥·¥:** just shut ur **[dang]** notifications off its not that **[flipping]** HARD

hey speaking of anime rotom just showed me a freaky show called pokemon

**Gluttony:** ???

**¥·¥:** ikr? Cept, the thing is that the main character dude, burnt ketchup or something, he actually looks like reds creepy, anime-style twin or something

plus he had a pikachu that was so powerful it was unreal

**Tadpole:** ... I have an unrealistically powerful pikachu

**¥·¥:** k but ur actually a good trainer

burnt ketchup is not. His charizard wouldn't listen to him

anime is horrible. But the weird thing, is that the video glitched out after the first few seasons or something, and i looked it up in like a million different places and i couldnt find it anywhere. Rotom even looked where he found it in the first place and it wasnt there

it was freaky, just like... poof, no more creepy anime red ketchup

**Skepticaldepressant:** sun how long is 'the first few seasons'? U sound like u need sleep

**¥·¥:** Nah sleep is for the weak only losers have bedtimes

**Skepticaldepressant:** Also since when does rotom do anything for u except yell at u

**¥·¥:** Since it found out i have a usb cord that connects to my ridepager and it fell in love

**Fashionpolice:** what would u even need a usb cord for anyway?

**Emerald:** Ruby! Pal! U back bro!

**Tomboy:** *grudging hrmph*

**¥·¥:** wait emerald y dont u have a nickname u need one ugh

**Emerald:** I like 'emerald' just fine thank u

**¥·¥ has changed EMERALD's name to SHORTY**

**Shorty:** SUN NO I WILL LITERALLY EEEND UUU

**¥·¥:** ok jeez u dont have 2 b so calm an collectivated bout it

**¥·¥ has changed SHORTY's name to GREEN ROCK**

**Green Rock:** ...better...

i guess..................?

**_______________**

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 13, 12:00 pm<<**

**Kumquat:** ·_· I give up

im done

this sucks

goodbye u suckers

**Statueinjail:** ???!!

Silver?!?!?

Dont leeeaave meee nooo

i loove u brotheeer dont gooo TT.TT

**I dont usually die...:** Dont worry about it

hes been screaming at the tv

the main guy is an idiot and never thinks, hes even worse than me almost, so now theyre charging into a battle between dialga, palkia, giratina, groudon, kyogre, rayquaza, xerneas, yveltal, zygarde and FREAKING ARCEUS. The protagonist seemes to think he can stop their fight with "PIKA POWER" or some dumb **[crap]**.

**Badarsekicks:** ???

Is this Ptoteam Omega?! If so who runs it and where can i find them?!

I mean do they realize this battle is not PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE it would TEAR APART THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD

**Kumquat:** As I said...

·_· I give up

**_______________**

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 15, 7:30 am<<**

**¥·¥:** rise and shine :)

**Skepticaldepressant:** shut up -_-

**Kumquat:** **[truuuuck]** yooouuuu

**Fashionpolice:** yyy uuu bully meeee

**Tomboy:** shut up u sissy boizz i was awake @ 5

yall a bunch o **[weenies]**?

**Fashionpolice:** !

**Kumquat:** !!

**Skepticaldepressant:** !!!! exCUSE?!!!

Tomboy: ...

**[truck]**

ANOSTOPITMOONNOIDNTMEANITQDTRBGJVMMMM..........

**¥·¥:** ...

...f in the chat...?

**Fashionpolice:** NO

**Kumquat:** NADA

**Skepticaldepressant:** **[truck]** no that little **[bridge]**

**Hatman:** ...

f

**Green Rock:** f

**Gluttony:** f

**Commandocomedy:** well good morning to you all too

**_______________**

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 15, 11: 29 pm<<**

**Hatman:**... Red?

**Tadpole:** yea? :)

**Hatman:** can I ask u something really weird?

**Tadpole:** fire when ready!

**Hatman:** promise u wont get mad?

Since it's so late an all?

**Tadpole:** of course I wont! I mean, ur yellow!

**Hatman:** k...

I always wondered...

and I cant sleep w/out learning...

**Tadpole:** ...yes?

**Hatman:** what kind of gel do u use 4 ur hair?

… those spikes always looked kinda weird 2 me...

**Tadpole:** !

Excuse you?!

**Hatman:** u promised...!

**Tadpole:** that's not what im mad about!

**Hatman:** … then what...

**Tadpole:** well *sputter* can't u- I mean-

_obviously_

it's a _tiara_!!!!!!!!!

**Hatman:** ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may or may not recognize that last joke. I'll admit I look up memes on google. Then one day I got the genius idea to look up pokespe memes and I saw that one as a gif. I changed it to make it more like a chat kinda thing, but it's the same concept. I thought it was funny and I was overtired and laughing at it for like half an hour, so I thought it deserved some recognition...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya know, Im actually kinda getting used to this. But it just occured to me that people might not understand why its wtcf instead of wtf.
> 
> Its What The Curly Fries. I don't swear. So sue me.

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 19, 5:00 am<<**

**Tadpole:** I was today years old

When i realized that NEWS stands for Notable Events, Weather, and Sports

**Commandocomedy:** wait so it could also be NEWAS?

**Tadpole:** ...

I guess so??

**Statueinjail:** Hey Jared, lets watch the NEWAS

**Richbullygirl:** Hmm I wonder whats on the NEWAS today

**Kumquat:** Hey did u hear, team rocket was in the NEWAS yesterday AGAIN

**I dont usually die...:** I wonder what I can do to get on the NEWAS...

**Badarsekicks:** guess what, in galar gym battles are broadcasted on the NEWAS

**Wingsuit:** I wish somebody actually recognized the fact that we saved kalos from utter destruction. They should have run a NEWAS story on it

**Gluttony:** I wanna be a famous chef and get my awesome food in the NEWAS

**Bedroomboy:** I used to b in the NEWAS all the time, its really not that great

**Fashionpolice:** They should run pkmn contests in the NEWAS

**Treekid:** ... do u guys need help

Its literally 5:23 am

**_______________**

****

****

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 21, 8:13 pm<<**

**Tadpole:** hey sun i just realized- i have no idea what u look like except that u look four years older than u r

for that matter, i dont know what any of u younger kids look like

**Commandocomedy:** [#selfiewithakumquat.jpg]

**Richbullygirl:** [imrichandpretty.jpg]

**Gluttony:** [imjusttrynaeat.jpg]

**Bedroomboy:** [supimjustchillin.jpg]

**Wingsuit:** [ibelieveicanfly.jpg]

**Hollywood:** [meandmyslave.jpg]

thats got me and black both so black dont need to send one

**Obsessed:** no i look stupid in that picture

[lookmushamunches.jpg]

**Hollywood:** ...

u look stupider in that one

**Obsessed:** shut it

**Green Rock:** DUDE

THERE IS LIKE

A MUSHARNA EATING UR HEAD

**Obsessed:** wow thanks dude i didnt notice

(read: i noticed)

**Green Rock:** WHY

**Obsessed:** cant explain its too long and complicated

**Hollywood:** cos his head is full of dreams and he dont think of nothing else. musharna eats dreams. black becomes detective.

**Green Rock:** oh

well y didnt u say so?

**Obsessed:** ...

**Tadpole:** wait wut bout sun and moon u guys do a picsherr

**Skepticaldepressant:** [meandmycoconut.jpg]

[sunsfullforcefestivalentrypic.jpg]

**Tadpole:** WAIT SUN U HAVE BLUE HAIR

U R LITERALLY THE YOUNGEST 1 HERE Y DO U HAVE BLUE HAIR

**Tomboy:** wait i thought u said u look 15

that does not look 15 that looks 11

**¥·¥:** EIDBSKCBSIAZMAP MOON I HATE U

**Skepticaldepressant:** :)

**¥·¥:** that was b4 the wormhole this is after

[sixmonthslater.jpg]

**Tadpole:** wait

what is behind u

y is there an explosion

**¥·¥:** that my friend is an inferno overdrive

two in fact

aimed at each other

**[flipping]** awesome huh

**Skepticaldepressant:** wait how did u manage 2 zmoves at the same time

**¥·¥:** I may or may not have asked kiawe 4 help

or maybe im just that awesome

**Treekid:** newasflash: ur not that awesome

**_______________**

****

****

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 27, 1:00 pm<<**

**Gluttony:** I was cooking all day and now i have too much food

**Commandocomedy:** O.O

WOAH ALERT THE NEWAS AAAH DIA HAS TOOOO MUUUCH FOOOD

**Gluttony:** so i was wondering if u guys wanted to come for eaties

**Commadocomedy:** **[heck]** YEAH UR FOOD IS AWESOMESAUCE

(lol im hilarious)

**Richbullygirl:** ok otw

**_______________**

****

****

**> >ALL DA PEEPS -- January 31, 11:02 pm<<**

**Fashionpolice:** OMG U WONT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DISCOVERED

**Tomboy:** ...

...!

**[fudge]**

GET AWAY FROM ME U R A SPIRIT OF SATAN

NO U **[mothertrucker]** AAAAH

**Fashionpolice:** come down from that **[flipping]** tree! I am doing a service for all mankind and ever1 else is next!

**Tomboy:** NO! PRISSYBOY!!!

**Fashionpolice:** BARBARIAN!!!

**Tomboy:** WUSSY!!!

**Fashionpolice:** ANIMAL!!!

**Statueinjail:** SHIP! SHIP! SHIP!

**Hatman:** O.o

**Tadpole:** -_- * _sigh_ *

Ruby found the glitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think memes deserve recognition, don't you?

**Author's Note:**

> Ah...
> 
> [hiokayvine.jk]
> 
> Terrible I know.


End file.
